But true to form my body has decided to take me down a new path that has proven to be more stressful than I could have imagined.
A pocket of blood located between my little buggers placenta and my uterus. This pocket of blood has caused me to bleed and or spot for most of my pregnancy. I have been off and on bed rest and in and out of sanity since my diagnosis on April 1st. No woman should have to experience this must less after battling years of infertility and IVF.
I know no one wants to hear the woe is me post from the now pregnant infertile but I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It’s like experiencing the terror of a miscarriage over and over again.
We had an ultrasound yesterday and LB’s (little buggers) heart rate was 153 and measuring perfect. I had been preparing myself for days to get the awful news that this pregnancy had ended but instead I saw LB staring back at me. I'm pretty sure he said, "Still here Ma! Stop all that damn worrying!"(Being my child he will someday end up with a potty mouth. Not a trait I'm proud of but what can ya do.)
Every day is a battle. I wake up with raging morning sickness that continues throughout the day until bed. I'm petrified of vomiting because of the strain it will cause and most likely induce bleeding but I refuse to take anything for it because it's the only thing telling me LB is still growing. So I take deep breaths, gag, and drink ginger ale. Most of my coworkers and my boss already know about the pregnancy because I've had to take so many last minute days off. This in turn adds to my stress. Any woman who has suffered through telling people you are no longer pregnant knows the stress I speak of.
I fear that I'll have some sort of PTSD from all this. Subchorionic Hematomatic Induced Stress Disorder.
32 weeks 2 days.....
Well at least everything is ok with the LB and going crazy for awhile will be all worth it in the end. Keeping you in my thoughts while you go through this!
ReplyDeleteUgh. I'm so sorry. I get so sad when I see women who have battled through IF and then can't enjoy their pregnancy because of the complications. Just another reminder of how unfair the universe is. Hugs to you.
ReplyDeleteSending positive thoughts and hugs your way!
ReplyDeletePraying for you! I hope it goes away soon. I know a couple other ladies who have one. One of them is 12 weeks now, and doing very well - no more bleeding or anything. The other lady is still early and concerned, but everything has checked out perfectly. It must be scary - I wish you didn't have to deal with that. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteHope you are ok, Patty! Thinking of you!! <3
ReplyDeleteHi, I just stumbled onto your blog from LisaB's and I'm so sorry about your SCH. I too unfortunately have one after 5 years of TTC, 3 failed IUIs, and 1 successful IVF. It's so scary and so much worse than I ever even could have imagined. I started bleeding at 9w/4 days it eventually stopped after about 1 week. Then 1 week after stopping I started bleeding again at 11w/4d. I'm so sorry you're going through this too.
ReplyDeleteUgh!! It seems so ridiculous that after struggling with infertility for YEARS, us infertiles can't even catch a damn break! I know that SCH can go away/dissolve eventually, right?? I really hope yours gtfo soon!! I can't imagine the stress you are having over it! Thinking of you <3
ReplyDeleteOk, and I'm an idiot and thought for some asinine reason that this post was from YESTERDAY, not a month ago.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are well, and I hope you update us soon!!!