Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Of Course....

Those of us that are part of the miscarriage club have done a particular search on Goo.gle that can only be described as a desparate attempt to retrieve a few stories chronicling a woman whom started to bleed at  such and such weeks pregnant. The story will read that she "bled more than should have been allowed to keep a pregnancy intact but I now have a happy 3 year old running around my computer".

Sunday marked my 5th search for said topic on Goo.gle.

J and I only have one bathroom in our house and we were joking who was going to get to use it first. Really he was just teasing me because he knew I was on my way in there. In the end I won or should I say lost. I sat down and woosh. I instantly became lightheaded and screamed out to J what was happening. He replies with "C'mon babe. You know the Dr. said it was no big deal don't get worked up." J and blood is a pairing that will result in man hitting floor. I gathered myself up, exited the bathroom crying hysterically, and we left for the ER.

They brought me into a room right away and the Dr. showed up within minutes. About a half an hour later she did an exam and told me my cervix was slightly open and she was going to send me for an ultrasound. Meanwhile I had to explain 50 times how I was only 6 weeks and my LMP had nothing to do with it. I always forget that those medical professionals whom are not in the fertility field no jack shit about the fertility field.

I sat in the bed completely numb thinking about who I had to tell that I was no longer pregnant, how long I could take off work, how we were going to have to get J different health insurance, and how I didn't deserve to loose another baby.

The ultrasound tech came in to wheel me down to radiology.

U/S Tech- Is your bladder full? That way I can save you the transvaginal and I'll do the abdominal ultrasound.
Patty- I'm 6 weeks.
U/S Tech - 6 weeks?! My records say 12!
Patty- Shut up

I laid there cursing silently to Mr. Dildocam and how he insists on being a part of my shitty ass fertility journey. After 15 minutes the tech puts away Mr. Dildo and says"I'm not supposed to say anything but there's a heartbeat."


She wheels me back to our room and J is immediately relieved. I know better. A heart that beats today may not beat tomorrow. I needed facts from the U/S before I felt comfortable with anything. Shortly after we're discharged with all the reports to give to the RE the following morning. As soon as we get in the car I scan the reports for the following:

HCG = 14,065
Heart Rate = 109 bpm
Gestational Age = 6 weeks
Radiologist notes = Fetus measuring small and heartbeat low.


Enter Dr. Goo.gle.

HCG = Normal Range
Heart Rate =  at 6 weeks should be 90-110bpm therefore Normal Range
Gestational Age = Right the hell on.

We're back in the game.

Monday morning all bleeding has stopped and we're off to the RE for u/s duex. This tech was not so gentle with Mr. Dildo and I about kicked her in the eye. Then she told me our little bugger has a heart rate of 110bpm and I offered to carry any of her future children. We met with the RE after and I've been diagnosed with a tiny weeny Subchorionic Hematoma. It measures so small that she only anticipates brown spotting occasionally if anything and hopes it will be even smaller at our next u/s Wednesday April 11th.

This is turning into a crazy ride. Only 34 more weeks.....


  1. OMG Patty, what a roller coaster you've been on!! I'm thrilled that Dr. Google was on your side this time and that your baby is alive and well. Come on baby, only 34 more weeks. You CAN do this!!!!

  2. GOOD LORD! My heart is beating so fast from reading this post! I'm so glad everything is alright! Hang in there. Sending hugs your way!

  3. Thanks ladies!! one thing I forgot to mention...u/s revealed my cervix was very much closed! Im still exhausted from them whole experience.

  4. Thank goodness for that. I am so relieved your little one is still snuggles in safe.

  5. It just infuriates me when doctors insist on going by LMP. Like they're stuck in the Dark Ages of medicine!!! Honestly! Grr...

    Wow. I'm so glad things are okay! That must have been so incredibly scary. I really hope the ride calms down now and that things just coast on and go well for the next several months!

  6. I'm so glad everything is ok! I was super worried as I started reading but phew!!!

  7. OMG how scary! Gosh Patty, I wish you didn't have to go through so much. Like it's already not hard enough. GRRR. Thank God everything is okay!! I am praying for you and your lil babe <3