Here we go...

Here it is. My very first blog post. I've been reading blogs for almost 2 years now and I have no idea how to navigate this site. I'm technic logically stunted in my human growth. Facebook took me YEARS to even remotely understand and I still cannot edit my photos.

I decided to start my own blog for the simple fact that I NEED to get some things out of my head before I spew them into the faces of the unknowingly ignorant and fertile public.

About 3 years ago J and I had an "oops" pregnancy. (Yes, you can rest assured that hearing this phrase uttered by another now turns me into a feral cat that somebody tried to bathe) I carried that lovely little bump for 13wks when my sleazy hotel of a uterus evicted my ever so comfy tenant without so much as a 30 day notice. As you can imagine we were devastated. But, we picked ourselves up, dusted off, and decided to really "try" this time.

 HA! Little did we know J was harvesting blind tailless sperm in staggeringly low numbers and my ute prefers to eat and kill said sperm.

But needless to say we went on our merry ovulation kit, get it on, and test, circle of hell for a full year before seeing my OB for a WTF appt. My OB, whom I love, ran a few tests and referred us to an RE. After our first consult, Dr. T was fully confident that one IUI would have me knocked up in no time. So of course we picked out names and sent out our baby shower invites promptly.

FAIL! But ya know it was a fluke so let's give it another shot. FAIL!

As it turns out our local hillbilly lab misread J's sperm. First claiming he had millions of Michael Phelps champions eager to win the oocyte gold medal. Now we are told no one is showing up for the silver sneaker swim meet at the YMCA.

 Dr. T tells us IVF will get us where we need to be. SAY WHAT NOW?! What the hell is going on here? I was already preggo people! All that took was an early morning followed by a nap. Now you're trying to tell me you’re going to turn me into a pin cushion. Sounds perfect! Let's do it. Two months later....FAIL!
Well here we are 2 IUI's, 2 IVF's, and 2 FET's and still trucking along.

Now that you're caught up I would like to add my disclaimer here:

1. I am a brutally honest, sarcastic, generally annoyed infertile.
2. I love my J more than anything in the world but I will bash him occasionally on here.
3. A few friends and family know about our ART journey but most just think we're happy without kids.
4. J's family is ABSOLUTELY amazing. I mean I really can't say that enough.
5. I throughouly enjoy exclamation points and CAPS!!
6. I chose to name my blog "You know what you should try..." because I can't even begin to count the number of times I’ve heard those asinine words. I've started to finish the sentence with such things as “Truck stops? Swinger parties? Horse tranquilizers?

Well I don't know about you guys but already feel better....