Saturday, November 26, 2011

What Legends Are Made Of...

I hope all of you had a great Thanksgiving!

J and I split the holiday between his family and mine. We ate dinner at my mom's and desert at his mom's. It being family time and all, you can imagine that the day didn't go off without a bitch hitch.

Now in my 3 years of TTC and 27 years of being a woman I've heard many a folk lore of a particular situation happening to my fellow sisterhood. I've always cringed back in total horror at the mere thought of such occasions happening to me. I've pondered what my line of defense would be and how I would rise up against such travesties. Well on this fateful holiday it finally happened.....someone asked me if I was pregnant.

I know what you’re thinking. Maybe they were just wondering if you had achieved pregnancy yet. NOPE! This person did not know we were trying.

My response was to immediately say "WHAT?!" Where she just merely repeated herself, assuming I hadn't heard the question. I followed up with a zinger...."No."

The next part is the real knife in the bird. She then told me that I "looked pregnant".

Holy shit!! This is the stuff legends are made of. Who the hell tells someone that after being told that no, they are in fact NOT pregnant. Did you think that was the appropriate defense against such crimes??

"Well, in my defense you are a fat ass so you can understand my mistake."

She then went on to say that when she wears flowing shirts people ask her that all the time.

SHE'S IN HER 60'S!          
                                        No, no, no, no Cloris Leachman! No one has ever asked you that!

But it gets better. My uncle thought it would be funny to keep asking me if I was pregnant the rest of the day. (He does know about our IF) What the hell is wrong with these people?!

Needless to say it ended by me telling everyone to Fuck Off and leaving. No, I’m not exaggerating that part. I made a scene. Took my toys and went home.

*So what am I thankful for this year?
1) J's dad makes a great Clamato
2) Elastic waist pants
3) My niece telling everyone "they're going down!" while helping me play pitch
4) Lorazpam

*Of course the love of my life J, my health, family, and my furbabies.

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